Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Kimball House is...different.

So Brad is out. Gone. Aye, Bee, See ya.
April is out. Gone. Aye, Bee, See ya.

Jimmy, Kyle, and I are the lone survivors. We're going to try and "clean up" a bit. Be "responsible". and act more "like adults".

Patch up all the walls. Take out the garbage. Install another door on the bathroom.

Anyway, that doesn't mean we're going to stop doing crazy shit.







And headshots. Happy birthday Pauly.





Friday, October 3, 2008

The Kimball house has never had so much estrogen.

Introducing: Kyle.







Bye, Bye, Scott.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I am sick and tired of bureaucracy

parking tickets be damned and this...

i TRIED to post an add on craigslist. hmm..
FUCK YOU CRAIGSLIST!

apparently this is against regulations

This posting has been removed by the craigslist community.

Back to Craigslist | Return to my account page

$666 The Kimball House is now Hiring!

if you know it, you know it.
If not. then you probably don't want it.

www.kimballhouse.blogspot.com

tests will be administered to all applicants.


Kimball at Wellington google map yahoo map


  • Location: Kimball and Belmont
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
bastards.
so i guess i'll post a "legitimate" add and LIE MY ASS OFF.
and to think i was being straight with these people.

Ok... so heres the new one.
we'll see how long this takes to get removed

The following ad will be posted to chicago (city of chicago) craigslist for submixx@gmail.com:

$300 The kimball house is a real place stop deleteing my posts! (Logan Square) (map)


Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here [?]
Date: 2008-09-16, 3:11PM CDT


there is a room available.
300 plus utilities.
the house is spacious, energetic, very fun.
you live with 4 others.
two girls and two guys.
there is a dog(small and cool).

2 bathrooms
central air
close to blue line.
centered in a growing neighborhood.

contact Nathan for further details
*1*.8*5.*0*1 <- that my phone number so you cant see.

Kimball at Allen google map yahoo map
  • Location: Logan Square
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

everything comes full circle (the fridge)

In 15 days time, I... Nate.. will leave the Kimball House.
I came in sometime in mid November last year so it has been 11 months of what can only be classified as crazy awesome. One of the defining characteristics of the year has been the fridge. Rarely used as intended it has served us well in... other purposes.
The fridge began in the kitchen. standard fare.
Then Brad brought home some english chick.
After a night of harassment and Jimmy meeting someone he can actually talk to about british music *he was on a kick* Brad decided to... well.. be Brad and lock himself in his room with the girl.
Tired of his antisocial bullshit we opted to lock him in his room in our own fashion. That is, moving the fridge from the kitchen and placing it at his door, as is illustrated in figure i.
This combined with loose items of questionable origin, a couple chairs, screens from the windows and wheelchair formed the obstruction at Brads door. It was then that it became apparent that having moved the fridge THIS far we might as well keep it in the living room. Not only is it classy, but it better facilitates drinking.

fig. i

fantastic.

Figure ii shows the original placement of the kimball house living room fridge. This was aesthetically the best position but proved problematic at times. Note that the couch illustrated is the old one and we still are using the arm chair. The chair is at this point the designated serving or passing position. you get the beer for the room. your in the chair. As the living room continues to evolve, the fridge will no longer function in this position and will have to be moved.

fig. ii

After some sort of frantic cleaning effort the fridge was replaced against the west wall of the room. This opened up the corner and allowed us better functionality for the room as a whole. The compensation for this was a 45* slant in living room orientation, as illustrated in figure iii.
In this position, alignment of the TV and couch was nominal allowing for a direct viewing position. Also, the fridge door had enough space to open without obstruction. The serving position moved from the arm chair to the end of the couch, that being closest sitting to the fridge. This was, functionaly speaking, the ideal position for the machine.

fig. iii


fig. iv

Fridge can be seen behind Nathan

In our experimentation we found that, though the 45* orientation was ideal for imagery, social interaction was at a detriment due to the coffee table being off axis to the secondary seating position. Furthermore, as the room continued to evolve, the allotted space given to seating exponentially increased. The couch was replaced with a new and substantially larger one and the arm chair itself was replaced with another couch/futon. It was at this point necessary to remove the fridge from the living room proper and situate it within the foyer/entryway.
This allowed the continuation of the theme while compensating for the decrease in available space. As a benefit, the right orientation of the room provided exceptional social response and on axis directivity of drink placement; see figure v.

fig. v

Note the fridge behind Matty and Scott... fuck jimmy

All in all this was the best placement of the fridge in terms of balanced criteria.
SO GOOD was it in fact that we moved it back to that position after barricading Jamie's door.

Reference post: Where the Fuck is the fun?


It was not until one Alex Fernandez began his work into the study of object propagation through static environments, that we found an alternate placement for the ice box.

Dr. Fernandez addresses the International Society for General Relativity and Gravitation

Dr. Fernandez suggested the idea that an object such as a pole, when propelled into an unmoving environment, my bedroom wall, would retain its structural integrity while manipulating not only the primary environment but the encompassing sphere of physical influence as well.


Indeed, he was most accurate in his hypothesis. Not only was the immediate environment influenced, that is to say manipulated by the magnitude of physical penetration, but the influencing sphere necessitated a drastic change in the macro environment. An outside object was altered in position to compensate for the loss of structural integrity to the primary.

structural integrity to the primary environment


In his experimentation, Fernandez necessitated the need for the fridge to be returned to its original placement.

Thus the cycle is completed.

Monday, September 15, 2008

I don't know how we'll top this.

Saturday was wonderful.

Relax on Milwaukee was offering $1.00 shots...and when you have ten people each buying rounds, everyone leaves in a good mood. 3am rolled around rather quick, however, so Matty and Nate ran to 1000 liquors to pick up a wonderful, though very overpriced, 30 case.

After actually hitting a guy with their car (he's fine), the boys came home and we each had a single beer. April passed out on the couch. Nate retired to his room. Matt and I stayed up for a bit, and then decided to fuck with Jimmy and the other retards who were screaming in the kitchen. Upon doing this, I noticed they each had a beer, and brad was also holding the entire 30 case. Wtf. I demanded it back, but when I went to put the beer in my fridge...there were only 12 left.

I marched up to Jimmy's room and yelled at him. Nothing. I marched into Brad's room. Nothing. So I angrily went to bed.

The next morning, it was still bothering me. We were missing nine beers. Not just one or two, but nine. Jimmy and I searched brad's room and found the beers stacked neatly on a shelf next to brad's clothes.

ooooooh no.
no.
no way.

We promptly removed the beers and started to work on our revenge. Our first thought were roosters. How funny would it have been to have brad come home to roosters in his room? Being cheap bastards, though, we couldn't find a place in Chicago that would rent us roosters, so we moved on.

Then, Nate came up with an ingenious idea.

Basically, you took our beer. So we'll take your life.

We took EVERYTHING out of brad's room and hid it throughout the house.



Even his dirty laundry, which Matt had to suit up for.





Until there was nothing left but this:





God bless this house.

Friday, September 5, 2008

A Preview of the next blog

Wednesday Night.  11:30 pm

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Decatur: My home town.

This is were i grew up, this is what they eat.



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This is what they were serving at the "Decatur Celebration" the United States largest fair/festival thing.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Nate got naked last night.

--------------------------------------------------------
Hey its Nate. she forgot this part...
circa July 8th

"our new door:



I can't promise this door won't have the same ill fate.


-Jamie"
--------------------------------------------------------




For everyone that has followed this blog since the beginning, you probably remember the post about the new bathroom door we got. Well. It lasted about a month and a half.



This happened during that rampage friday. Also. I just want to say that



Bonging FOUR is a very very very bad idea.

And if anyone knows where to find this:



Please let me know. I'm unemployed.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

The Madness Continues...

Jamie's last day of work was yesterday which meant a cause for celebration. This also meant pure mayhem.









Best Night Yet.

SUMMER 08 CAN'T GET ANY BETTER

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Jack Daniels Makes the Body Feel Good.

At the Kimball House, every day is a Weekend. Parties are thrown almost every night of the week. There are no bed times and something unpredictable always happens.


You know the night is going to be good when you start off by drinking Jack and Coke Slushies that eventually just turn into Jack and no Coke.

Jack Daniels knows how to throw a good party... Like So......













And to end it all off I am Proud to Present, the New Image of the Kimball House.



And I am correcting Jamie...Not the best weekend, but the best Week ever.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Where the fuck is the fun?



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One of the best weekends ever.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

All i want to do is kill zombies and beat hookers.

Who ever has this:

Photobucket


or this


Photobucket

BRING THEM BACK!!!